Hinata's Secret Admirer
by fandidot
Summary: One day, Hinata is walking to her apartment and sees a poem for her. Warning, contains OOCness and random humor. Rated T just incase. Warning...again.... Very crappy summary. Also, first fic....
1. The Poem She Received

**(A/N Yeah, this is just something really random I came up with in five minutes. And it's my first fanfic, so please don't be so mean. Gaara is ooc)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, there wouldn't be 5 episodes worth of flashbacks.**

Walking up to her new apartment, Hinata couldn't help but think about her love life. She was a beautiful, talented kunoichi, with white, clear eyes, silky midnight colored hair, and fair , pale skin.

'Why doesn't Naruto-kun ever notice me?', Hinata thought sadly. Sometimes, she couldn't help but feel sad that she wasn't noticed much. Sakura was beautiful, talented, and strong. Something she knew she would never be. Now, Hinata wasn't one to get jealous, but she did get sad and that was exactly how she felt when Naruto and Sakura's wedding was announced earlier that day. When she got to the floor of her apartment, she headed over to where her room was.

When she got there, she noticed something strange. And it wasn't the fact that there was a giant crater right next to her own apartment. (A/N hey, it's a ninja town. I wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke decided to run around town naked.) Speak of the devil, just then Sasuke ran around the town naked screaming 'Stare at me, ladies!!!'. Half of the people in town sweat dropped, one third did a face-fault, and Hinata blushed like mad.

Anyway, when she looked back at the door, she noticed a poem taped to the handle. Grabbing it, she opened the door and went inside. She sat down on the couch and began to read.

'_As I stare into the midnight sky,_

_I can't help but think of you,_

_A beautiful maiden some would call,_

_But I think they are wrong,_

_Because you are an angel, sent from heaven to earth,_

_With midnight colored hair,_

_You captured the moon in your white eyes,_

_And the stars in your soul so pure,_

_From,_

_Your secret admirer,_

As Hinata read the letter she blushed, then fainted. Little did she know, a certain red- headed jinchūriki was crouching in a nearby tree, watching her read the letter. As she fainted, he sweat dropped.

"God, am I really that bad at poetry?", he thought out loud, then hopped off to find his siblings. When he found them, they were playing the Pokémon card game.

"Haha! Take that Kankuro, I just thunder-bolted your-", looking up, a girl with four dirty-blonde ponytails noticed the red-head.

"Oh, hey Gaara, how was my advice?", the girl asked 'Gaara'

"I suck at poetry, Temari", he said, with a stoic expression.

"Well, that makes sense…", Kankuro said.

"Shut up, you're the one who lost to Temari in a Pokémon card game."

"You try beating her when she has a Pikachu! It's the main character and no one can beat the main character!" At this statement, everyone sweat dropped.

"Damn Pikachu", he muttered under his breath.

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**Well…. Yeah…. That's my story! Please review! Oh, I have nothing against Pikachu…**


	2. The invitation, flashback, and chat room

**(A/N Okay, here's the next chapter.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, then- wait, this is like a 'what if' question! I hate those!**

**Hinata's POV:**

As I woke up, everything was blurry.

"Ugh, what happened?", I asked no one in particular.

"Where am I?", you see, that whole stuttering thing is only a façade, I use it so I can do anything as a 'weak' little girl. I'm so evil. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I looked around to see that I was in my apartment. What happened? I remembered the letter and I blushed instantly. You see, the blush isn't fake. As I stood up, I also remembered Sasu-gay running around town naked. I swear, I think he's on crack sometimes. Just then, the door bell rang and I went to get it. Opening the door, I saw my good friend Ino. Ino was a nice girl, but she was always on diets and never thought she was skinny enough. She had pale blonde hair and sky blue eyes.

"O-o-ohayo, Ino-chan", I said.

"Ohayo, Hinata-chan. I just wanted to invite you over for a sleepover tonight. Here's the invitation", she said, as she handed me the invitation. "There should be everything you need to know in there!" And with that, she left. I looked at the invitation, and noticed it smelled like lavender.

'_You are cordially invited to Ino's super awesome sleepover!™_

_**When:**__ 7:00 PM_

_**Where: **__ My house_

_**Why:**__ My parents are on a mission_

_**Requirements:**__ A sleeping bag and party spirit!'_

"Wait, Ino patented her sleepover's name?", I thought aloud.

"Why did you not stutter?" I whipped around to see Gaara in a trench coat and sunglasses.

"DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A SHADY BUSINESS MAN?! AND ARE YOU A STALKER, BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER GIVING ANYONE THE KEY TO MY APARTMENT!!!"

**Gaara's POV:**

"Wait, Ino patented her sleepover's name?", I heard her ask. Wait a second, she didn't stutter? I jumped through her window and asked the question on my mind.

"Why did you not stutter?", I asked.

"DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A SHADY BUSINESS MAN?! AND ARE YOU A STALKER, BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER GIVING ANYONE THE KEY TO MY APARTMENT!!!", She screamed.

"Uhhhhh, well… you see…", I stuttered.

_**Flashback:**_

_"Hey Temari, I need to go shopping for some new clothes", I said, walking into my sister's room._

"_Okay, and why are you telling me this?", She asked "And why would you need clothes anyway?"_

_"Well, when you're covered in blood half the day you kind of get noticed. And in by kind of, I mean you get so much damn attention that you think you're gonna murder the next person you see that stares at you funny."_

_"Ah, I see, but that doesn't answer my first question."_

"_I just need you to accompany me so I can get some good clothes"_

_"Okay", and with that, we headed off._

_At the market…._

_We walked through the streets for what seemed like hours, but it was only- wait a minute, it had been hours! Just as I was about to yell at Temari for taking so long to help find me some clothes, we found a store called 'Sunglasses and Trench coats'._

"_Hey Tem, what do you think they sell at that store", I said, pointing at the store I saw._

_"Hmm, I don't know, let's check it out." As we walked through to the store, I thought about the poem I gave Hinata. 'I didn't think it was that bad, but if someone read it and fainted I guess it wouldn't be good…' I thought. When we arrived at the store, all it had was trench coats and sunglasses._

_"Wow, who would've thought in a store called 'Sunglasses and Trench coats' they would have sunglasses and trench coats?", I said, walking through the aisles._

_"Beats me", Temari said, also looking through the aisles._

_**End Of Flashback**_

"I stole it from a little girl", I lied.

"That wouldn't fit on a little girl." Crap.

"Uhhhh… I've got to go…. See ya!", I said, and jumped out of the window.

_**Hinata's POV:**_

"Well, that was odd", I said, as he jumped out of the window. "Well, never mind, I should just look for what I need for the sleep over." I started looking for a sleeping bag, toothbrush, snacks, and kunai. I know the kunai were unnecessary, but you never know if there are going to be rapists/stalkers/pedophiles out there. Once I had gathered all my necessities, I looked at the clock to see how much time I had left. 4:00 PM. 'Ok, that means I have three hours left,' I thought. 'I should take a shower and get ready', I thought. Walking upstairs, I grabbed a purple t-shirt and blue shorts and headed to the shower.

--After Shower--(I'm not going to describe it! Perverts…)

Changing into the clothes I got, I headed over to where my computer was (If they have air conditioning, T.V.s, and refrigerators, they get to have computers, too!) and logged onto chat.

--On chat—

**Ramen_Luvr890 has logged on**

**Too_lazy_to_make_a_name has logged on**

**Fan_girl has logged on**

**Mind_controller has logged on**

**Sweet_Hyuuga has logged on**

**Destiny123 has logged on**

**Barbie_gurl has logged on**

**10_10 has logged on**

**Puppet_masta has logged on**

**Power_of_Youth has logged on**

**Cherry_Blossom has logged on**

**Gaara has logged on**

**Dog_man has logged on**

**Bug_collecter has logged on**

**Not_fat has logged on**

**Ramen_Luvr890: Who the crap is 'Barbie_gurl'?!**

**Barbie_gurl: Hi dobe**

**Ramen_luvr890: TEME?! WTH?!?!?!**

**Dog_man: yeah, dude, what's with the name?**

**Barbie_gurl: uhhhhhh… got to go!**

**--Barbie_gurl has logged out—**

**Gaara: Ya know, anyone named 'Barbie_gurl' deserves to die**

**Sweet_Hyuuga: W-w-why?**

**Ramen_luvr890: Because it's girly, right?**

**Gaara: no, because I hate homosexual people**

**Everyone:…**

**10_10: uhhhh… I'm just here to get everyone on team Gai. We have to train.**

**Destiney123: yeah, ok**

**Power_of_Youth: Yosh!**

**--Team_Gai has logged out—**

**Cherry_Blossom: Hey guys, how many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?**

**Fan_girl: It depends on how stupid one person is**

**Cherry_Blossom: Um… I don't know… How about an IQ of 50?**

**Puppet_masta: Come on, Naruto's not that stupid**

**Ramen_luvr890: Hey!**

**Mind_controller: Everyone who was invited to my party should log out now!**

**--The Kunoichi have logged out—**

**Bug_collecter: Ya know, most of the people have logged out by now. I'm loggin off**

**Not_fat: me too**

**Too_lazy_to_make_a_name: me three**

**--Everyone has logged off—**

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**Yeah, so how was that? Again, first fic, so please don't be too brutal. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Also, I thought I should give ages.**

**Rookie 9: 15**

**Gaara: 15**

**Kankuro: 16**

**Temari: 17**


	3. please read bottom

**(A/N Yeah… so I have nothing better to do than sit and type this story all day so enjoy! This story if dedicated to my lil' sis, Moonet. Oh, and btw, about the second chapter, I have nothing against homosexual people)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did… then stuff would happen.**

**Hinata's POV:**

I logged off the computer and started off towards Ino's house. Along the way I saw Tenten and decided to walk with her. She started dating my cousin, Neji, a month ago. When I caught up with her, I saw she was crying.

"Ten-chan, w-w-what's wrong?", I asked.

"I think that bastard Neji is cheating on me!", she howled.

"Now, now, Ten-chan, w-w-why would you t-t-think that?"

"I saw him making out with Amy in the ally!"

"A-a-and what w-w-would make you think otherwise?"

"He said he wasn't", At this, I sweat dropped. Come on, if he's making out with a girl in an ally, then says he's not, would you believe him? No freaking way! Still, there ARE the 10 steps of denial or something like that:

**Step 1: **Denial

**Step 2: **Anger

**Step 3: **Depression

**Step 4: **Emo-ness

**Step 5:** Acceptance

**Step 6:** The quest for blood

**Step 7:** Finding a good weapon for the quest for blood

**Step 8: **sweet, sweet revenge

**Step 9:** Dessert

**Step 10: **Finding a new boyfriend/maiming all boys you see

I think that step number ten is my favorite. Anyway, I wanted to comfort my friend, because of my good-hearted nature, so I decided it was worth a try.

"There, There, i-i-its ok", I cooed.

"IT'S NOT FREAKIN OK, HE CHEATED ON ME!!!!!", she screamed. I sweat dropped. 'Looks like she's on step number two', I thought. We arrived at the house and saw that we were the only ones there (except Ino).

"Look Ten-chan, w-w-we're here", I said, in hopes to get a response that all of Konoha wouldn't hear her scream.

"Yeah… sure Hina-chan…", She said forlornly. 'DAMN, SHE GOES THROUGH THE STEPS FAST!', I screamed in my head. When I was about to reply, Sakura and Temari arrived. Come to think of it, why were the sand sibs in Konoha anyway? Probably on a mission or something of the sort.

"H-h-hello, Tema-chan, Saku-chan", I greeted.

"Hello Hina-chan, Ten-chan", They greeted.

"Yeah, sure, whatever…", She said, depression laced in her words.

"10 steps of depression?", Sakura asked. Hmm, I thought it was the 10 steps of denial… oh well…

"Y-y-yeah", I stuttered. "L-l-let's go inside." We all stepped inside to be greeted by Ino. She was in her Pjs already, I noticed.

"Hey Tem, Hina, Ten, Forehead! Glad you could make it!", She yelled.

"Shut up, Ino-pig! I bet all of Konoha could hear you!", Sakura yelled.

"You're one to talk, Forehead!"

"Pig!"

"Forehead!" They yelled at each other for awhile. Then, when they finally decided they would remember there were guests, turned around and 'O.O'ed at us.

"Eh-heh-heh…. Sorry guys", Ino said.

"Yeah, sorry"

"So, Ino-chan, what do you have planned for us tonight?", Temari asked.

"Well, since we all know Sakura's wedding is coming up, I arranged for Anko to talk to us about-", as Ino was about to finish, Anko walked in, carrying a display stand and large display papers.

"Okay Sakura, now we know that you have a wedding coming up so I want to talk to you lot about sex", Anko said.

"S-s-s-s-s-sex?!?!?!?!", I screamed.

"Hinata, please be quiet before of Konoha hears you and thinks I'm pedophile!"

"S-s-sorry"

"Okay, so-"

--one explanation later and let's see what our main characters' reactions were—

**Hinata: **Fainted

**Temari: **Ran away two minutes into the lesson

**Sakura:** Blushing like crazy

**Ino: KO!**

**Tenten: **Still depress about the Neji and Amy incident

"Well, looks like my job is done", and with that, Anko left. As I woke up, I noticed Temari was still gone. Sighing, I ran out to get her. After about five minutes, I found her curled In a ball, rocking back and forth on the floor of Ichiraku's. I sighed again and dragged her back to the sleepover to see everyone was back to normal, except for the depressed Tenten

"W-w-well, now that the M-rated h-h-horror is over, let's do s-s-s-something else", I said.

"Hmm…", Ino pondered over it for a moment, then I swear I thought I saw a light bulb over her head.

"I know! Let's play Truth or Dare!", she yelled. 'God, I don't remember Ino being so hyper-active', I thought.

"I'm in!" Everyone, except Tenten, shouted enthusiastically. Tenten agreed too, though she was still completely and utterly depressed. We all sat down in a circle and started.

"Okay, I'm going to start off. Hinata, truth or dare?", Ino asked.

"T-t-truth", yep, even my friends don't know about my façade, the only ones who know are Neji, My little sister Hanabi, and Gaara (I'm still not sure if he's a stalker or not…)

"Okay, do you like someone?"

"Y-y-yes"

"Who?!", everyone asked at once. 'Uh oh', I thought

"T-t-that wasn't p-p-part of the question!", I yelled, exasperated.

"…damn"

"S-s-sakura-chan, truth o-o-or dare?"

"Ummm… Dare"

"I-I-I dare you t-t-to… uhhh", This was going to be hard. " I dare you to go into Ino's kitchen and eat all of the meat she owns."

"Wow… that's evil Hina-chan", Temari said. I smiled at her comment and watched as Sakura trudged into the kitchen.

"Does anyone have a knife", Tenten asked. 'Wow, step number four', I thought.

"N-n-no one give her one", I said.

"Well, since Sakura's gone, I'll take her turn", Temari said. "Tenten, truth or dare?"

*Sigh* "Truth", she said. "Besides, there's no point in life.

-Everyone in the room -

"Why are you so emo?"

"Neji cheated on me *sniff sniff*"

"…Hinata?"

"Y-y-yes Tema-chan?"

"Go get me a gun"

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***Notice: Well, I basically wrote this story for my sister, and I asked her to read it. When I asked her how it was, she said she thought it was stupid. So, I don't know if I should continue. I don't think many people like this story anyway. Please tell me if you would like me to continue and I will.**


	4. Ah, sweet sweet revenge!

**(A/N Ok, so I decided to continue the story. And this chapter is dedicated to PrincessQ04 for her encouragement and BloodxKanji for her advice. And I know Gaara wasn't in the last chapter. Sorry 'bout that!)**

**Disclaimer: Ok, so now it's time for *drum roll* THERAPY!**

**Hinata: No no, It's time for the disclaimer**

**Uh… I knew that! I do not own Naruto, or any of the references that may be in this fic**

**Hinata's POV:**

"N-no no Tema-chan! Violence i-i-is never the answer!", I said, exasperated.

"Oh, hell yes it is! We're ninjas!"

"Ah, point made" Well, it did make sense. I mean, do you really think that if you asked someone to never cheat again they'd listen? Now, if you whack the person upside the head and scream 'NEVER CHEAT AGAIN' I believe they'd listen. So, grabbing a gun for Temari to use, I gathered the rest of the girls to tell them the plan. (Actually, I didn't need to gather them since we were already in the same room and sitting in a circle)

"Okay gals, we are gonna do some serious hurtin' *cue cowboy theme music*", Temari said. Wait, where the hell did the music come from?

_At The Neighbor's house:_

"Jeez Tim, why do you listen to western music at random times?"

"I have no clue, Bob"

_Back at the evil villain's-I mean sleepover:_

"We are going to infiltrate their lair, take control of their forces, and use their own army to destroy them! Yes, their over-confidence will be their down fall! Muahahahahahaha!", Temari cackled maniacally. Everyone sweat dropped (Including the emo Tenten) .

"Um, Tem?", Ino asked.

"What is it Ino? Can't you see I'm working on my plot to take over the- I-I mean help Tenten?"

"Yes, but that plan doesn't work because we're ninjas and don't do military style fighting."

"Oh, I see. Well, then I guess we do an epic battle with sharp objects and no contractions such as 'aren't' or 'isn't'. And our words shouldn't match our mouths either."

"No Tem, we just go over and hit him with a couple of jutsus."

"Oh…. I knew that…." And with that, we set off. Here was the weapons each of us carried.

**Temari: **Gun

**Ino:** Katana

**Sakura: **Senbon

**Me: **Sword

**Tenten: **Baseball bat

As we were walking, we saw Kankuro and stalke- I mean Gaara.

"Hey bros, want to help us hurt Neji for cheating on Tenten?" Wait a minute, speaking of love lives, who sent me that poem? Oh well, I would ask them about it later.

"Hurting people for no reason? How could I possibly refuse?", Kankuro said.

"Hn", wow, talk about mono-syllable. Seriously, what the heck?? Well, we all started off towards where we thought Neji would be. I suppose the poem would be a good subject for conversation, so I brought it up.

"H-h-hey guys, t-t-this morning I r-r-received a p-p-p-poem from a secret a-admirer" As I said that, Temari burst out laughing (seriously, I didn't think someone having a crush on me was THAT unbelievable) Gaara glared at the ground, and Kankuro- well, he was trying to make a torch out of chocolate and tooth paste. I was about to ask him what he was doing, but Sakura cut me off.

"Kankuro, what the hell are you doing?!"

**Gaara's POV:**

"H-h-hey guys, t-t-this morning I r-r-received a p-p-p-poem from a secret a-admirer", Hinata said out of the blue. Damn. Temari started laughing because of my failed attempt, I started glaring at the ground hoping I would be left out of the awkward conversation that would probably follow, and Kankuro was trying to make a torch out of chocolate and tooth paste… again.

"Kankuro, what the hell are you doing?!", I heard Pinky ask. Yep, I called the pink haired one pinky.

"Well, you see, when you mix toothpaste with something that tastes good, It starts to taste really bad. So I figured, if you mix it with something that tastes_** REALLY**_ good, it would be so bad either the world would end or I could make a torch to use on this 'Neji' guy", he replied. Everyone sweat dropped. Well, except me. 'Cause I'm so cool.

**Hinata's POV:**

As Kankuro finished his… odd statement, we arrived at my house. Neji, being my cousin, lived at the same house. We rung the doorbell and waited for Neji to answer. When he did, he stared at us in shock. I took that time to observe Neji. And when I did, I have to say I was shocked. There he was, my cousin Neji, the Hyuuga genius and prodigy, in Power Ranger ™ pajamas.

"What are you guys doing here?", he asked in disbelief.

"Well, I just wanted you to meet my little friend", Temari said, patting her bazooka. "Yes sir, fires 3 inch bullets. This one is a beast"

"My katana. Sharpened to perfection. I can kill at least 3 enemies at a time with this", Ino said. Then, it was Tenten's turn to speak. She patted her baseball bat and said: "Yep. Mahogany."

--One beating later—

"See Tenten, don't you feel better now?", Temari asked.

"Yes, I do, but don't you think it was a little harsh to tie Neji up and leave him to the horrors of Tellie Tubbies?"

"Well, he deserved it!"

"No Temari, only people who kill people, give the body to dogs, gets the family members of the dead person to watch the terrible sight, then laugh about it deserves to watch Tellie Tubbies", Sakura said solemnly.

"Oops. My bad! Gaara, Kankuro, please go back to the apartment and if I see that Kankuro has used all of our money to buy potatoes again, I will personally kick your asses!"

"Yes ma'am", They said obediently. I snickered and when the girls turned around to head back, I patted Gaara on the head.

"Well, thanks for helping us, little panda!", I said cheerfully. Hey, if he's seen through my façade I don't see the point in hiding it.

"If anyone's a panda, it's your little bun-haired friend", he said, as he disappeared with Kankuro. I ran to catch up with my friends, my disguise back up.

"T-t-ten-chan?", I asked.

"Yes, Hina-chan?".

"How would y-y-y-you like dessert?"

"Sure, I'd love some!" yep, she's on step number 9.

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**Yep. So that's chapter 3! Or 4. I don't remember… eh-heh-heh… so do you know how I found out Hinata's evil? Her stuttering! It's hard to type! DUN DUN DUN! Well, please review!**


	5. Walking home

**(A/N yeah…. Still don't have anything better to do than write all day. But it's fun so I'm not complaining! Again, special thanks to PrincessQ04 and BloodxKanji for reviewing!)**

**Disclaimer: And that's how The Third Hokage died. In other news, I do not own Naruto.**

**Hinata's POV:**

As we ate cake at Ino's house, I noticed Tenten was much happier than earlier that day.

"T-t-ten-chan?", I asked

"Yes, Hina-chan?"

"What do you think Neji's doing right now?"

"What do I think? Well…", then, back round violin came on.

"_Right now, he's probably slow dancing with a beach blonde tramp and she's probably getting frisky,_

_Right now, He's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whisky,_

_Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick showing her-"_

"OH GOD PLEASE STOP!", Ino yelped and ran over to the couch.

"Yeah Ten, please save us the drama and tell us your choice of step number ten", Sakura said.

"Step number ten?"

"Yeah, you know? The ten steps of depression?"

"Sorry, no entiendo"

"What the hell?!"

"Oh, that was Spanish for 'understand'"

"We're in Japan! It would be '残念、私は理解しない'

"… Ino?", I asked.

"Yes?"

"How l-l-l-long have you been a-a-able to do that?"

"Why?"

"B-b-because this is a-a-an English fic, s-s-s-so how would you be able to do that?"

"You know what? I have no clue!"

"Guys!", Tenten said, affectively snapping us out of our conversation. "I've found 'The Guide To Understand Girl Code' and I've decided to maim every boy I see!" *Everyone in room sweatdrops*

"D-d-demo, Ten-chan, w-w-wouldn't it be better to get you a boyfriend?"

"Wait! Boyfriends! That reminds me, what were you saying earlier about a poem and secret admirer?"

"A-ano, I was e-e-entering my apartment a-a-and found a p-p-p-poem attached to the door knob" Checking the time, I saw I had to be home before Hiashi started bitching.

"Sorry I-I-I can't s-s-s-stay the night, I have to be home", and with that I left, leaving the girls to find out who my admirer was.

**Tenten's POV:**

I watched as Hinata retreated into the darkness of the night. Please, I already knew who the secret admirer was. I think it's best to explain what happened in flashback form.

_**Flashback:**_

_As I walked down the streets of Konoha, I noticed a girl about the age of 14, with shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, and a cloak. Wow, if that didn't scream 'I'm a total foreigner' then the fact that she just screamed 'I'm a total foreigner' did. Then, she approached me and said the most absurd thing I'd ever heard._

_"Hinata's secret admirer is Gaara" what was she talking about? Secret admirer?! Gaara?! Hmm, I could really go for some pie… Ugh, focus Tenten, focus!_

_"Who are you?", I asked._

"_Oh, sorry dude, I'm the narrator. And I decided to tell you this so I could shorten the story and not tell how you actually found out." And with that she left .Wow, was she lazy?_

_**End of Flashback:**_

"Hey guys, I know who the secret admirer is", I said. I just love breaking the third wall.

"Who?", Sakura asked. I figured this would be hard on her, considering she had a secret crush on Gaara. How did I notice this? Well, you'd have to be either blind or mentally-retarded to not notice the fact she flirted with him every two seconds.

"It's Gaara! Dun Dun Dun!!!", I screamed, but only half of Konoha heard, and no one understood what the heck I meant.

"What?! Gaara-kun likes Hinata?!"

"Yup!", Temari shouted from the couch.

"Temari, when the hell did you get here? The author hasn't written you any dialog in awhile", I said.

"Well, besides the fact she probably forgot about me, I'm Gaara's sister. I just know this stuff."

"Hey, where's Sakura?", Ino asked.

"I think she's in an emo corner or something of the sort", I replied.

"Why? I was in my room getting some music when I heard you scream something and when I came down she wasn't there."

"You missed it? I said Hinata's secret admirer is Gaara." Ino gawked.

"No way! Mr. 'I'm too cool to sweat drop when Kankuro says something stupid'?!"

"Yep"

_**Hinata's POV:**_

I started on my way home from Tenten's house when I heard her randomly scream 'it's Gaara'. What about Panda? I started to call him panda after the Neji revnge incident. Now I know what you're thinking. 'Why would you call Gaara panda when Tenten is just as Panda?'. Honestly, I have no clue. Then, panda jumped out of a random tree and started to walk by me.

"Hey stalker- I mean Panda", I said. Looking up, I noticed it started to drizzle. Beside me, Gaara twitched at the nickname.

"Hello Hyuuga-san."

"Hyuuga-san makes me feel ten years older then I am. Call me.. uh… Agent 007."

"… um…. Ok?"

"So tell me panda, what are you doing stalking me?"

"Why do you stutter in public"

_"_So I can do whatever I want and people don't suspect a thing. So why are you stalking me?"

"I am not stalking. I am a ninja, so the meaning immediately changes from 'stalker' to 'Information gatherer'." I arrived at my house and muttered under my breath 'stalker' before walking back inside.

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	6. a really sappy ending

**(A/N Yeah, I'm gonna try to finish this soon. Sadness… xD)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. What? Were you expecting some sort of joke?**

**Hinata's POV:**

I woke up the next morning in my apartment. Didn't I go to my old house with Hiashi? Stupid plot holes. Anyway, I got up and did my usual routine. Take a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, brush my hair, train for about the entire day, then hang out with friends. I was about to go train when I saw Tenten run up to me.

"O-o-ohayo, Ten-chan", I said.

"Ohayo… Hina-chan…. I found… out who… your secret admirer… is…", she panted.

"O-o-oh really? Who?", I asked.

"It's Gaara!", She screamed.

なんてこ「った! それは彼がそのようなストーカー! 」なぜであるか説明する

"Oh great, not you too! What did you say?!"

"Trust me, you do not want to know!"

"Well, what's your plan of action?"

"I don't know, we're talking about a stalker here!"

"Why do you keep calling him that?"

"Well, one day he jumped in through my window in a trench coat and sunglasses"

"Oh god! My eyes! The mental image burns!!!" I sweat dropped. Come on, how creative can Tenten get? OH GOD, NOW THE IMAGE BURNS MY EYES!!!

"Tenten, don't get too imagininitive!" I shrieked.

"Oh, now that image is much better", she sighed in relief.

"Well, let's go on a quest to find Panda"

"Hey, I'm right here you know!"

"Not you, the OTHER panda!"

"Ohhhhhh!" So we began the search.

"So Tenten-"

"HINATA! Like, omfg! I just noticed you haven't stuttered!" damn. She noticed.

"Okay, the only ones who know are you, Panda, Neji, and Hanabi. Please don't screw up my façade. And before you ask, I do it so I can do whatever I want as the sweet, innocent girl and never get noticed."

"Hinata! That's evil! The world is going to end! And that's what I thought when I saw Sasu-gay running around town naked!"

"Yeah, let's just go look for him" Not too long into our search we found Kankuro playing the Yugioh card game with Temari.

"Yeah! Take that Kankuro! I just totally used the Winged Dragon of Ra to kick your-", looking up she noticed us. Dѐ javu, huh?

"Oh, hey Hinata, did my advice work?"

"W-w-w-what are you talking a-a-about?"

"Sorry, the author just ran out of jokes or random humor so she made me repeat what I said in chapter one"

"…"

"Anyway, what can I do ya for?"

"W-w-where's Panda?" As I said that she pointed to Tenten, who got on anime vein on the back of her head.

"No, n-n-not that Panda, the other one!"

"Ohhhhh, he ran over to Ichiraku's to torment Naruto"

"Why?", that didn't make sense, Naruto and Panda were good friends.

"Because Sakura is one of Gaara's fangirls and Naruto can't seem to control his wife." Temari snickered at the last part and I sweat dropped. Tenten and I ran over to Ichiraku's very fast-like and came to a halt when we saw Gaara getting harassed by fangirls, the one at the head of the group being Sakura. I heard things like 'I love you, Gaara-kun' or 'Marry me'. I couldn't help but laugh at his predicament. All heads turned to me, as I was literally 'rofling'. Composing myself, I stood up and faced all of the fangirls.

"Oi, I don't think Panda feels like raping any of you", I said, as I turned to Gaara.

"We need to talk" Gaara nodded, and we waited as the fangirls dispersed. I looked towards Gaara, then sat in the stool next to him.

"What do you need to talk about?" 'Damn it! I don't know how to go about this! Um… I know! Small talk!

"So… uh… Anko came to the sleepover to talk about sex. She said-"

--one explanation ever and let's see what Gaara's reaction was—

**Gaara: Blushing!**

"GAH! LIKE OMFG! GAARA'S BLUSHING! SURELY IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCOLYPS!", and with that, I ran away. Yeah…I kind of forgot I was supposed tell him about the secret admirer thing. Eh-heh-heh…

**Gaara's POV:**

Well, I was sitting at the ramen stand and waiting what it was that Hinata wanted to talk about, when she randomly started talking about sex! God, did she think I was going to rape anyone anytime soon?! Well, I started blushing and she started screaming because of the fact that was OOC for me. Hey, if I'm in a **FANFIC** I get to know what the terminology is. So I left the ramen stand to go to the Yamanaka flower place. Why was I going there? Because the author has no idea what to do with me so she's making me. Anyway, I walked into the store and was glad when I saw that fangirls weren't mobbing me.

"Oh, hey Hinata's stalke- I mean Gaara!", the blonde one shouted to me.

"Why does everyone think I'm a stalker?! I write a 'secret' poem and suddenly I'm a stalker?!"

"Dude, you jumped in through her window."

"…shut up"

"Anyway… do you want some romantic advice?"

"Some what-now?"

"You know, some advice to win over Hinata?"

"It's okay, I don't need-", then it was all black. When I woke up, I didn't know where I was! Looking around frantically, I noticed I was tied to a chair with chakra sealing rope… thingies. We were in a room with one dim light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Anyway, the blonde one –as he dubbed Ino— had a finger pointer and display stand.

"Okay, listen up, I'm making you take the romance lesson whether you like it or not!"

"…damn"

**Hinata's POV:**

So, I started walking home from the ramen stand, questions in mind. Did I like Gaara? Well, he was kind of weird… wait a minute! We're ninjas! Everyone's weird! I mean, if Temari has a giant fan, and can actually **use** it, wouldn't she be classified as weird?! Well, anyway, I didn't know the answers to those questions (And for some reason Sakura's been glaring at me all day! Isn't she engaged to Naruto?!) so I decided to go to the romance expert themselves! That's right, you guessed it! Neji! Yep, no one else knows it, but I do because one day I accidentally walked in on him while he was reading romance novels. But that brings another question to mind… why was Neji in Power Ranger™ Pajamas?! Oh well, so many questions…

I arrived at Hiashi's house and knocked on the door. Again Neji answered and when he saw me, started to cower. God, all I did was force him to watch tellie tubbies! Oh wait, that is evil.

"Neji! I need your help!"

"W-w-with what Hinata-sama?"

"God, have we switched roles or something? Anyway, I need you to help me with guy problems."

"Sure, we can kill the boy for you because he's a stalker right?"  
"I only have one stalker Neji-nii, and that's panda. Anyway, I found out my 'secret admirer' Is in fact panda, but I don't know if I like him or not" Neji pondered for a moment.

"Well, just try it. If he breaks your heart, you know where the chainsaw is" and with that, he shut the door to leave me to find a chainsaw- I-I mean go see Gaara.

**Gaara's POV:**

Well, those lessons didn't pay off… I didn't learn anything! Oh well, I guess I would just buy her flowers or something. I know it's corny, but hey, we're ninja's and I don't think killing comes into this equation.

"So Ino, how about I buy her flowers or something?"

"…that's corny" damn. I knew it!

"Eh, I'll take 'em anyway" looking through the flowers, I noticed a particularly odd one. It was all white and stuff. And it smelled weird. Wait, all the flowers do, nevermind… I decided on picking a pot of daisies. I started off in the direction I thought Hinata would be in, and when I saw her I started to walk towards her, hiding the pot behind my back.

**Hinata's POV:**

So, I was walking around, looking for him, when I saw him walk about with his hands behind his back.

"Hey Panda, what's-" before I could finish, he shoved a random pot of flowers in my face.

"Panda? What're these for?"

"Uh… Ino said they'd be nice to give to people… you know.. like-" I knew this was akward for him, so I cut him off.

"Thanks panda", I then walked up to him, kissed his forehead and left. And I swear when I turned around, Mr. calm, cool, and collected was blushing.

**Fin**

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**So yeah, I know the ending was pretty sappy and not really funny, but hey, It's my fic. Anyway, please review. Reviews make me happy and stuff…**

**Also, ****なんてこ「った****! ****それは彼がそのようなストーカー****! ****」なぜであるか説明する****= No freaking way! That Panda Stalker!?**


	7. SEQUEL! WOOT!

**Hi people! To those of you who enjoyed 'Hinata's Secret Admirer', comes the sequel *Drum roll*… where the hell did I get a drum roll? **

**Anyway, the sequel: Matchmaker! Tenten's been coping with her break up with Neji, but what happens when the sand sibs come into the equation, and what happens when the rookie nine intend to set up Tenten with a certain sand sibling? And for those of you who LOVE yuri, NO IT'S NOT TEMARI!!! I ain't talking about Gaara, either! Featuring:**

**Naruto,**

**Hinata,**

**Gaara,**

**Temari,**

**Kankuro, **

**Tenten,**

**Your favorite random western music lovers; Bob and Tim!**

**Neji,**

**Shino,**

**Kiba,**

**Lee,**

**Sasuke,**

**Sakura,**

**Ino,**

**Shikamaru,**

**And many more random people!**


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